A few days ago while I was out for a quick run through the cemetery (very respectfully), I found myself trapped in a cycle of worry and fear over Joe’s upcoming surgery. I kept trying to jolt myself out of it, but I found myself thinking of worst case scenarios and trapped in the fear he was going to die. In that moment I felt like I tapped into a global well of pain and sadness so deep that my heart skipped.  Literally. I felt a sharp pain in my chest scary enough to jolt up my shields and bring me back to the present before I face planted on the pavement.
 
I immediately headed for home, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the well of pain I had felt.  Bigger and deeper than I could imagine or process.  When I got back to the house I wasn’t ready to go in yet, I didn’t want to take that energy back inside. So I decided to lean in, put on depressing music and cry a bit and wander the mostly abandoned back streets in our neighborhood. Purple Dead Nettle
 
I couldn’t get the catharsis I was looking for, I just felt numb.  Then something caught my eye, a small patch of wildflowers growing out of a rotting stump. I know these flowers, they grew wild around my childhood home and they have most Metal name ever: Purple Dead Nettle also known as purple archangel.
 
I decided it was the omen I was looking for so I picked a small bouquet and took them home to Joe before looking up the symbolism:
 
Purple Dead Nettle ~ is associated with happiness, cheerfulness, determination and tenacity. It can grow just about anywhere, even when the soil is of poor quality or practically non-existent.
 
Grow everywhere with happiness, cheerfulness, determination and tenacity.

The last few days I’ve felt called to take walks in the cemetery.  ThorntonThornton


Yesterday I was overcome with joy and gratitude at the beauty of that quiet space and I gathered those feelings in my chest for a moment and then released them outward in a burst of energy.  A few moments later I felt a response rush back to me with the feeling of dozens of feather light hands on my low back and under my arms lifting me up.  My feet never left the grownd but my step was light and my stride was long.  It only lasted a few moments, but I ran effortlessly until I crossed through the front gates of Tod Cemetery and came back to the regular world.

Dado's Pocket knifePsychometry is a strange ability that can take you by surprise.  I rarely practice psychometry, and I don’t think I have ever used it professionally, but sometimes it gives you unexpected glimpses.  Today I was repacking a box of stuff from my grandmother – old recipes, family pictures, a partial genealogy and a few of my Grandfather’s personal effects and an old pocketknife caught my eye and I thought I’d toss it in my desk drawer, for those times I need a knife and can’t find mine. I was stopped in mid movement by a rush of warmth and strength, a feeling of hands wearing the handle smooth with routine tasks and the warmth of rattling in a pocket.  Layered over that was my grandmother opening letters and packages before putting the knife away.

I barely knew my maternal grandfather, he died when I was four, but It was an unexpectedly perfect moment to feel his presence again. 

Since we moved to the new house I’ve been going on “Morning Constitutionals” a few times a week. Sometimes it’s a walk around the neighborhood, getting to know the street names and exploring the energies, and sometimes it's a quick jog to the park and back.  Some houses I pass stand out because of a well kept yard or a bit of interesting architecture, but most just fade into the background. There’s a house I often pass on my way back from the park that really stands out because there’s usually something dead on the street in front.Haunted White House

I barely noticed it at first, it’s not unusual to see a dead bird or hard to identify critter on the side streets.  It’s usually cleaned up quickly but things stayed on this block and it rarely stayed clean for more than a day or two.  It never looked like a fresh kill, it always looked old. 

There was no real sense of malevolence coming from the house, every house on the block is empty and some of them feel quite creepy, but the white house, the house with death in front, simply had a quite presence.  It was like looking at a predator’s den. I wasn’t scared, but I was watchful and always spent a few moments wondering what was inside and speculating on what sort of being was making it’s own sacrifices on this lonely road.

A few weeks ago the street and sidewalk were clean, so I figured I’d see something in a few days. For a week the street stayed clean and I wondered aloud, “What could be better than an animal?”  Very clearly I heard the words, “You are.”

My mental shields slammed in place with a nearly audible clang and I sped up just a tad (never show fear).  It was over a week before I passed the white house again and still nothing outside, but now there is a feeling of attention coming from the gaping windows and crooked door, a gentle malevolence – not looking to kill, but to keep.

Don't feed the ghosts. Our attention, our energy and presence can feed and sustain the non-physical beings around us.  When we talk to spirits, make up stories about them, give them names or treat them like parts of the family we can strengthen them and give them a way into our world.

Casper EatingI rarely see the spirits of people who have died, I may feel their presence during a reading, or see a glimpse of a loved one, but my talents seem more attuned to the beings in this world who were never human or have been disincarnate so long they have lost their humanity.  Some are beautiful, ethereal, helpful and loving – angels, devas, and some of the fey. Others are as neutral and natural as the wind – elementals, sprites, and nature spirits.  Then there are the ones who range from scary to downright terrifying – bogarts, tricksters, shapeshifters, dark fey, creepy-crawlies and things that go bump in the night.

These beings can also be fed by our time and attention, they can grow stronger and take advantage of our unconscious generosity by slipping into our homes wearing the mask of a friendly house ghost or a lost soul.

This past week Joe and I did a House Clearing and Blessing for a family that had just moved in and were noticing unpleasant energies and increasing poltergeist activity.  When the owner first called she told me all about the ghost, the family was sure it was the previous owner, or maybe his son who had died as a young man.  They were amateur ghost hunters and had tried to communicate with the ghost, talking to it and asking it questions. 

“I’m not sure we want to kick it out,” she said. “Give me a few more days to think about it and I’ll get back to you.”  A few days latter she called back and told me it was starting to get scary and they wanted the house cleared.  It was over a week before we could fit them into our schedule, by that time I was told lights were flickering on and off, shadows were gathering and people were getting tripped on the stairs.  Even their skeptic friends were convinced.

When we first got there, I tried to connect with the house and the land I felt only loneliness and some stagnant negativity.  There was an angry presence in the house, but I wasn’t sure it was a spirit.  When we met the family it started to come clear, there was a lot of stress and anxiety in the house and the son didn't want the spirit gone.  He liked having a pet ghost, not out of malevolence or evil, but because it was fun.  

“As the owners of this home, as the family living here, you have more control than we do,” I said. “We will clear this house, but if you invite spirits back in, they will come back.”

Burning Palo SantoWe cleared the house, filling it with as much love and light as we could channel.  They are remodeling and it will be a lovely home – one that wants to be lived in and loved.  Before we left Joe and I gave the husband and wife a pep talk on ways to bring positive energy and light into the home.  We talked about the importance of not leaving your negative energies and experiences stuck in the house.  We spoke of the importance of filling your home with love and not getting stuck in negative patterns and memories; the importance of not feeding your ghosts.

On the drive home Joe reminded me of something a say in every psychic development class I teach – we draw to ourselves the clients we need to learn from and most readings have messages for the reader as well as the client.  We have both been struggling with negativity and stress during our move and I have been falling into the terrible habit of recounting my grievances, focusing on all the things that have been upsetting me and once I start down that road I often keep going until I’m complaining about things years past – keeping the scary ghosts of my past alive.

I am always trying to do better.  No matter how much better I get at forgiveness, gratitude and mindfulness, I am trying to do better. This Halloween season I will try not to feed my ghosts.