I don't mean I want to go shovel snow, or trudge around the neighborhood in twenty-four layers. I don't want long hikes or camping. I don't want to go looking for the best photograph, or the perfect view. I don't mean I want to work in the garden (I do, but not right this moment… cuz it's buried under a foot of snow), or continue digging for the Crazy, Insane Garden Project. I want to go Play Outside!
I want to go out with no expectations. I want to come home covered in mud and scratches. I want to find a perfect stick. I want to discover a small stream, just new from the rain, and know my afternoon is all booked up. I want to see a deer and stand so still it ignores me and then clap my hands. I want to chase squirrels and climb trees. I want to climb down the stormdrain and pretend I'm exploring the lost temple of Xxivks (pronounced drit for no apparent reason).
I think we get so caught up in the idea of work and responsibilities we forget about unstructured play. We "play" games with rules and scores. We exercise and workout and we need a goal. Everything has a schedule and a plan.
Maybe I just need some new playmates, but surely there is still time for random, unplanned fun? Running because it's fun or standing on your head or doing summersaults and cartwheels and rolling down a hill?
Maybe I should just go out dancing. That's fun, but these days I feel this pressure to meet someone, or HAVE FUN and get my money's worth, or gripe about the dj, or not make a fool of myself on the dance floor, or I go out so rarely it seems like a Big Deal. I don't want fun and play to be a Big Deal, thinking like that makes me feel old and tired.
Feeling old and tired makes you old and tired. Fun and games may not keep you young, but it will look that way, and feel that way - and isn't that more important?
I suppose it's cabin fever, or spring fever, or some such thing. Too long cooped up, even the (indoor) cats want to get out, till they see the snow. I'm twitching for an adventure, something completely random. It's even too cold for ghost hunting, which I find a bit redundant cuz they are everywhere, and everyone thinks I'm nuts for wanting to bring a net. At least I'd get to see new and interesting places full of terror, screaming and scaring other people.
You'd think working all the psychic fairs would be fun, and some are, but it's still work. Besides, you do one simple handstand (I was bored) and people talk about it for years.
Don't get me wrong, I love what I do and in many ways I have the greatest and most exciting job in the world. I just have cabin fever and I am going bonkers.
So talk to be people, who else is going crazy out there? Are you climbing the walls? If so, are you using crampons or ropes?
What are you doing to relieve the winter doldrums or are you loving it with a yard covered in snow angels and snowmen?
I'll open a discussion in the Forum at GreatConjunction.org – tell us what you are doing or just complain about the weather for a bit. What is keeping you going as you look out the window?